Taming the Advice Monster
Have you ever caught yourself just waiting to speak while someone else is still talking—already crafting the perfect piece of advice in your head before they’ve even finished their sentence? You’re not alone. Most of us have an “advice monster” that’s eager to jump in, fix, rescue, or steer the conversation. We mean well, of course. But what if advice isn’t always the gift we think it is?
This month, we’re exploring the subtle but powerful difference between helping someone and trying to solve things for them. Inspired by Michael Bungay Stanier’s brilliant TED Talk, How to Tame Your Advice Monster, and some powerful research on communication, this newsletter is all about shifting from giving answers to asking better questions.
As a coach, I’ve come to believe that listening—really listening—and asking open, curious questions is far more transformative than offering even the best advice. When we give people space to reflect and discover their own answers, we’re not just supporting them—we’re empowering them.
So whether you’re a leader, a parent, a partner, or simply a good friend, I invite you to pause and reflect on your own relationship with advice. Could staying curious a little longer lead to better outcomes—for others and for yourself?
